Turns my tummy a little too...

Me: If you come near me with that, I will puke all over you....

Lindsay: What? It's not like I'm showing you my foot fungus or something....it's just shit from my nose....ok, from my chin.

(Small clarification that really doesn't make this any better, but she was actually trying to show me the results of this sticky strip thing she pulled off her nose.....and I still just puked a little...in my mouth....you might have as well. Thank you and goodnight.)

No really...

...I was a little confused too when I saw this headline (if that's what you call it?):

Pregnant Teens Common Among Dinosaurs

East Hundred

I don't want to talk about it...

Ok Ok he did it for charity, that is very nice, I understand (I bet Enza doesn't understand)...but I can hope that Youk grows this the goatee back sooner rather than later. He looks a little too much like that high school picture. I'm not comparing him, but I know He-who-shall-not-be-named shaved for charity back in the day when he was still respectable and he pulled it off a little better...

(don't worry folks, Youk isn't going to get mad at me for saying this, he knows my love for him is almost unconditional, which is more than I can say for she who I will now refer to as She-who-shall-not-be-named)

Slappy Mc-Blue Lips

I hate A-Rod. I hope the Red Sox don't get him; he would be the biggest misfit in Red Sox history.

"Thank you, A-Rod," said ESPN's Peter Gammons, who left a baseball game in Denver between the Boston Red Sox and the Colorado Rockies immediately after hearing the news Sunday and flew to Legends Field in Tampa to get comments from Yankees front man Hank Steinbrenner. "We desperately needed something to get us out of the never-ending drudgery that is fall baseball. This is a real treat.

Price's picture from the Rolling Rally says it all:

I love Lowell, if he weren't married, I would marry him too. Maybe I should become a Mormon? Or is the polygamy only acceptable for the men?

Looney as a bat?

So most mornings, Lindsay and I are up and at the gym around 5am...naturally, at that time of the morning we don't have much to say to each other besides the exchange of a few grunts...but this is what is sounds like sometimes when we get back...

Scenerio: Linds and Raine get home and hear Lindsay's alarm that has probably been going off for the last hour and a half .."EERRRR..ERRR..ERRRR"

Raine: "Uh oh, hope that hasn't woken up Kim up!"
Linds: "that girl's got hearing like a bat"
Raine: "yea she does....and a nose like....like something with a good nose."

10 minutes later, Lindsay knocks on the bathroom door, where I am standing at the sink getting ready for work...

Linds: "Raine?"
Raine: "yea?"
Linds: "Do bats even have ears? I know they have that super-radar thingy...like they can sense their prey...but have you ever heard of bats having good hearing?

Raine: "yea i dunno! i mean they're blind! that's where "blind as a bat" comes from...but no, now that I think of it I don't think they do..."
Linds:"cool...thought just crossed my mind after I said it...I don't even know where that came from!"

T.K.O!

Ever been hit on so many times you feel like you were knocked out? yea..maybe the universe is out of wack (global warming, whatever that is) and there was a full moon 2 weekends in a row.. possible? Or maybe it was just the Halloween freaks but something was not right.

The following lines you are about to read are true. No names have been changed to protect the innocent (me) or the skeevy guys:

1) (Wearing my Youkilis shirt) "Hey #20, what's your number?" me: 20.

2)(Again, wearing the Youkilis shirt): Me, standing at the bar to get a drink. Borat-accent guy:"You rooting for the Red Sox?" me, looking down at 'Red Sox' across the front of my shirt: "Yea." Borat guy:" Oh, I know a lot about baseball....not!"

3) Me, standing at the bar, this time to pay my tab. Borat's friend with the slicked back hair: "I will pay your tab for you." Me: " No thanks, I got it" Borat's friend: "I will pay your tab, you marry me for a week to see how you like it?" Cut to me walking away.

4) Seemingly nice older guy, who starts making conversation while waiting for his drink. "Go Red Sox. You're very attractive." Me, "Thanks." Old creepy guy: "I'd like to see your baby pictures." Me, "uhhh". Creepy old guy: "You have a nice hair color. You're eyes are really pretty too. Are you Irish?" Me, "Scottish." Creeepy Mc-Creeperton: "You remind me of my baby sister. I bet you like tall guys."

5) Creepy Mc-Creeperton has now started to call any guy over 6 feet tall over to me, "Have you met my friend?" Me, "Hi, nice to meet you." Tall guy: "I'm Jim, like the stone."

6) Jim-stone, who has come over again a few minutes later to talk to Linds and me, leaning half way over our table, completely in my space "That guy is creepy. Ya know, I'm in sales so I'm really good at picking up on body language." Me, on the edge of my seat, leaning as far away from Jim-stone as possible: "Really? Can you read this?" And dumb Jim-stone just laughs...

7) Next up, weirdo Frank ,who we think is just talking to us while he waits to order his beer: "Did you guys see the blurb they put up about Varitek a few mins ago, was he in the military?" Linds and me: "Oh, yea, no we didn't see that, we don't know." Weird Frank continues blah blah blah. "Ya know, I work for Deltek." Me, "Oh interesting, we use Deltek at work." Weirdo Frank: "Yea, we have a corporate box at the Verizon Center. Got two tickets for tomorrow night. Would you be interested in going?" Me, "No, thanks." Frank, still hanging around, pulls out his card to give me, apparently with a little pencil waiting for me to give him my number, and puts his card next to my drink. Me, looking down at the card "oh, Deltek....thanks." Weirdo Frank inconspicuously slides his card back and leaves. Never orders his drink...