Ever been hit on so many times you feel like you were knocked out? yea..maybe the universe is out of wack (global warming, whatever that is) and there was a full moon 2 weekends in a row.. possible? Or maybe it was just the Halloween freaks but something was not right.
The following lines you are about to read are true. No names have been changed to protect the innocent (me) or the skeevy guys:
1) (Wearing my Youkilis shirt) "Hey #20, what's your number?" me: 20.
2)(Again, wearing the Youkilis shirt): Me, standing at the bar to get a drink. Borat-accent guy:"You rooting for the Red Sox?" me, looking down at 'Red Sox' across the front of my shirt: "Yea." Borat guy:" Oh, I know a lot about baseball....not!"
3) Me, standing at the bar, this time to pay my tab. Borat's friend with the slicked back hair: "I will pay your tab for you." Me: " No thanks, I got it" Borat's friend: "I will pay your tab, you marry me for a week to see how you like it?" Cut to me walking away.
4) Seemingly nice older guy, who starts making conversation while waiting for his drink. "Go Red Sox. You're very attractive." Me, "Thanks." Old creepy guy: "I'd like to see your baby pictures." Me, "uhhh". Creepy old guy: "You have a nice hair color. You're eyes are really pretty too. Are you Irish?" Me, "Scottish." Creeepy Mc-Creeperton: "You remind me of my baby sister. I bet you like tall guys."
5) Creepy Mc-Creeperton has now started to call any guy over 6 feet tall over to me, "Have you met my friend?" Me, "Hi, nice to meet you." Tall guy: "I'm Jim, like the stone."
6) Jim-stone, who has come over again a few minutes later to talk to Linds and me, leaning half way over our table, completely in my space "That guy is creepy. Ya know, I'm in sales so I'm really good at picking up on body language." Me, on the edge of my seat, leaning as far away from Jim-stone as possible: "Really? Can you read this?" And dumb Jim-stone just laughs...
7) Next up, weirdo Frank ,who we think is just talking to us while he waits to order his beer: "Did you guys see the blurb they put up about Varitek a few mins ago, was he in the military?" Linds and me: "Oh, yea, no we didn't see that, we don't know." Weird Frank continues blah blah blah. "Ya know, I work for Deltek." Me, "Oh interesting, we use Deltek at work." Weirdo Frank: "Yea, we have a corporate box at the Verizon Center. Got two tickets for tomorrow night. Would you be interested in going?" Me, "No, thanks." Frank, still hanging around, pulls out his card to give me, apparently with a little pencil waiting for me to give him my number, and puts his card next to my drink. Me, looking down at the card "oh, Deltek....thanks." Weirdo Frank inconspicuously slides his card back and leaves. Never orders his drink...
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4 comments:
You always have the most fun...
Why didn't you let creepy old guy pick up your tab? I thought I taught you better than that.
I hate to be a party pooper, but I'm so glad those days are over for me! Ew :)
Ha! I was Googling my name (it really IS Jim Stone) and found this funny blog post. And for the record I would never introduce myself as "Jim, like the stone" although in my situation that might be borderline-cool :)
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